At BH, our mission is to provide high quality living to all our residents. We believe that a component of this is living your life free from the tortures of a barbaric roommate. Therefore, we have created these 10 commandments for roomies to follow to ensure the tenure together is civilized and cordial. We hope you enjoy and have a laugh as you reflect on your own roommate memories.
1. THOU SHALT REFILL THY TOILET PAPER ROLL UPON ITS FINAL CONSUMPTION, NOT LEAVE A MERE INCH OF CHARMIN ULTRA STRONG…IT’S NOT THAT STRONG.
Everyone has been in that bind, that moment there is nothing you need more than the paper we most take for granted. The act of refilling the TP is a minor inconvenience in comparison with the bind you’re in when left without! Help a roomie out and take the pledge to end this transgression: Refill the Roll.
2. THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE AN EMPTY SNACK VESSEL IN THY KITCHEN TO CAUSE THY ROOMMATE EXCITEMENT AND ENSUING OUTRAGE.
The outrage this act causes is really a two-part provocation. We, the innocent, hungry roommate, just want to enjoy a treat that we see in the kitchen. When you open the box to reveal that sad empty state, NOT ONLY did the roommate eat the remaining tasty treats, but they were too lazy to be bothered to throw the package away. RUDE!
3. THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE HAIR, TOENAILS OR OTHER REMNANTS OF BODILY DNA ABOUT THINE APARTMENT.
No one wants to go to brush their teeth to find a straggler sitting upon their bristles. Or sit down to eat your hot pocket on the couch only to feel that the remote has a sliver of toenail on the volume button. That hot pocket doesn’t sound so hot anymore. Let’s all just be mindful and keep the common areas free of personal organic matter.
4. THOU SHALT NOT SUMMON OBJECTIONABLE VISITANTS TO THE ABODE.
You know the old adage “make yourself at home”? Most of us out there know this to be a lie that really means, “I hope you’re comfortable hanging out here for a limited amount of time, so long as you are polite and well-mannered”. However, not everyone got the memo, and those people gotta go. Also worth the mention, when you sign that lease to live with a roomie, you agree to live with them…. not them plus their latest fling, his two kids and pet ferret (true story). If someone is staying for an open-ended slumber party, clear it with the roommate first.
5. THOU SHALT NOT BE INCESSANTLY ANNOYING, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:
- Jamming to Nickelback at 3am (or EVER)
- Eating in a manner akin to a wild boar
- Trying to discuss the meaning of life over breakfast
- Screaming expletives at your Xbox about the lag in Fortnite
6. THOU SHALT NOT SUBJECT THY ROOMMATES TO UNSOLICITED NUDITY.
7. THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE DISHES ENCRUSTED WITH SLUDGE AND MUSH FOR THY ROOMMATE TO CLEAN.
We have seen this one motivate A LOT of passive aggressive behavior (bringing a roommates’ dishes into their room, leaving a post it with a “please wash TODAY” message, even hiding the dishes). While its widely acceptable to not wash your dishes the MOMENT you finish a meal, most would agree that a 24-hour wash period is respectable. No one wants to scrub a fork encrusted with lo mein and someone else’s saliva. Gross.
8. THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY ROOMMATE’S POSSESSIONS.
You signed an agreement to share a kitchen, living room…maybe a bathroom, but not all your possessions. This especially applies to your razor, bar of soap, toothbrush, deodorant, headphones, undergarments (yeah, we’ve seen a fight over this one). The rule is: anything that you didn’t buy yourself, at least ASK before using/consuming.
9. THOU SHALT TAKE OUT THY TRASH, NOT CREATE A PRECARIOUSLY BALANCED TOWER OF RUBBISH THAT SPILLS OUT AT THY ROOMMATE’S FEET.
If you’re trying to create a work of art, do so in another manner…a sculpture of used Kleenexes impresses no one. While taking out the trash can be an annoyance, it will earn you goodwill with the roommates, so the next time the hair needs unclogged from the drain, you can tap out. Not to mention, your apartment will smell better without trash sitting around.
10. THOU SHALT PAY THY RENT ON TIME.
When your roomie comes home with seven pairs of Lululemon leggings but later in the month complains about not being able to cover rent, your head might explode. The whole point of having a roommate, usually, is to save some green on your living quarters, so make that your financial priority over $100 exercise pants.
By Elizabeth Stodolka, Communications Specialist